So I had my own version of ceiling cat recently…I didn’t realize this was a real thing until my brother told me, after he heard the story I’m about to write about. For those who are unfamiliar with ceiling cat, here you go:
My husband and I just bought a house! And I think we will always remember our first night.
It started off as any other night would. We had dinner at a restaurant to celebrate our big purchase. It was a really nice dinner, but I had my first Lenten slip. It was Friday and I ate meat. (Gasp!). I’m using my pregnancy as an excuse though…the baby wanted to meat! If it’s that big of a sin, I figure it will be washed away when we baptize the baby.
Dinner ended and we drive home. We enter our house and I immediately walk upstairs to see how our cat, Hank, is doing. I locked him in one of the bedrooms since we had been moving stuff into the house all day long. He wasn’t too thrilled about this (scratching at the door and trying to run out as soon as the door opens a crack), but it meant he wouldn’t sneak outside while the door was open all day. (He’s an indoor cat). Anyway, my husband and I both enter the room and the cat is not there…Did the walls eat him up?! The door was shut. Unless he suddenly learned how to turn a doorknob, there is no way he could have left this room. Where the hell could he have gone? And then we realized the small closet door in the room was ajar, so we opened it. Still…no Hank.
My heart started racing because I have no clue where he went. I start looking all over the house, calling his name. HANK!!! I shake the bag cat food…and he doesn’t come running towards me.
And then I hear my husband say, “I found him!” I run back upstairs where I don’t see my husband holding the cat.
Me: Where is he?
Husband: He’s in the hole in the closet.
Me: What?! Get him out!
Husband: He’s not coming.
I go into the closet and bend down to try and see him.
Me: Why can’t I see him?
Husband: You have to angle your head a certain way.
I adjust and see Hank’s little eyes glowing at me.
Me: Hank!! Come out!! What are you doing?!
And then we try EVERYTHING to get him out. Treats, cat food, a cat toy, a lasso (ok I exaggerate) and lastly a can of tuna. He loves this stuff. Any time I am making tuna and open that can, Hank comes trotting over. I usually pour the excess liquid into a small dish for him and he laps it up. I think to myself that this has to work! We open the can and place it in front of the hole. And…nothing. He still isn’t coming back towards the light.
Now I’m starting to get upset…and freaked out that every time I look in the hole, not only will I see Hank, but I will also a gigantic spider crawling towards me or worse towards Hank to eat him up.
Me: Let’s knock down the wall!
Husband: What? I’m not going to knock down the wall.
Me: There is a hole in the closet anyway and it will need to be fixed!
Husband: Honey, we just bought this place. I’m not knocking down the wall.
Tears start welling up in my eyes.
Husband: Let’s just go to bed and he’ll come out eventually!
Me: No!! I can’t sleep like this!!
And now I become hysterical…crying, sobbing uncontrollably. Pregnancy hormones? Probably. But I am also obsessed with my cat. So I might do this anyway. Looking back at all of this (just a few days later), all I can think is my poor husband.
Me: Please do something!! I can’t sleep like this and I can’t even see Hank anymore in the hole!
My husband looked in the hole and can’t see the cat either.
So my husband goes downstairs and I can hear a drill start up. I wait for a few minutes to try and compose myself before I head downstairs to see what he is doing. And as I walk into the kitchen, I see my husband, standing on a stool, drilling and cutting a hole into our ceiling. The ceiling of the house that we just bought. I don’t even say anything because I know he is mad that he is doing this, but as far as I’m concerned it was incredibly necessary to do. And then I notice another hole in the bathroom right next to where he is currently drilling. (And later I would see the start of a hole in the closet right next to the bathroom).
My husband loves me. A lot.
Once the hole (the final one) is completed, he sees Hank and starts to lure him out treat by treat. Finally he is able to grab him and he pulls him out.
I can finally relax. Hank is safe and has not been eaten by large spiders. And he is filthy. Absolutely covered in dirt. All of the white spots on his fur are soot stained. My husband hands me the cat and walks away without saying anything. I hug my cat and bring him back upstairs. I move a heavy dresser in front of the closet door that he got into. He won’t get into that closet again! Then I head to bed. I can sleep now.
Ah... Miss you Kerri! Keep posting!
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